A Halloween Appetizer Scarier Than Dating Taylor Swift
October 21, 2014
Dating Taylor Swift is scary for a lot of reasons. First, she's really tall. Second, she's really skinny...which always makes the tall part more enhanced. Third, she wears heels, which also enhances the tall thing. So unless you're about 6'3", Taylor is going to dominate you! Plus, if she gets mad at you, she can take off one of her heels and throw it at you. She has a lot of money, so she can afford a good attorney if you get mad at her for throwing her heel at you. Also, because she has a lot of money she isn't going to worry about throwing her heel at you and breaking it, because she can easily afford a new one. Come to think of it, she might just throw both heels at you!
Let's not kid ourselves, though. The real reason dating Taylor Swift is scary has more to do with what happens after you FINISH dating Taylor Swift. You get songs written about you, and that's not usually a good thing. There is a long line of Taylor's old flames that will agree with me on this one. She ends up on the radio telling the world how you did her wrong, and a good percentage of the population sympathizes with her and you're left as an outcast. It's a bad deal, friends.
Do yourself a favor: don't date Taylor Swift. I promise it's just going to end badly for you. Especially around Halloween. I think she has some kind of dating unicorn dust that she sprinkles on her suitors this time of year. It doesn't kill them or anything like that, but I hear it makes them smell bad and turns their teeth a real creepy shade of green. Weird stuff, I know. No, instead I think you should just focus on making a good old-fashioned Halloween cheese ball. In fact, I'll show you how to create one on this episode of The Hungry Cowboy. When you're finished, you can take it to a Halloween party and brag to your friends about how you don't need to be scared anymore, because YOU chose not to date Taylor Swift.
Blood Red Velvet Halloween Cheeseball Recipe:
8 oz cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 1/2 cups dry red velvet cake mix
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1/2 cup mini chocolate chips
1 box of vanilla wafers or graham crackers
Optional: Add gummi worms or candy spiders as decoration
With a hand mixer, beat the cream cheese and butter until smooth. Add the red velvet cake mix, brown sugar and powdered sugar. Beat until smooth.
Place the mixture onto a piece of plastic wrap. Wrap up into a ball and refrigerate for at least 2 hours. After the cheeseball has hardened in the refrigerator a bit, remove the cheeseball from the plastic wrap and cover in chocolate chips.
Serve with vanilla wafers and whatever creepy, crawly candies you wish to add!