Probably, you're thinking you already know the answer here. Sure, biscuits and gravy are messy. And sure, they're messier still if you're trying to eat them in bed. However, much like an iceberg, the mess is really only that 10% of the problem that you see on top. The lion's share of the trouble is what lurks beneath.
There are three common positions in which folks attempt to eat biscuits and gravy in bed. First, and the least dangerous, is the semi-reclined position that is achieved by placing a couple of pillows behind you in an effort to achieve a sitting position of sorts. Honestly, this one isn't bad, and if you have to eat biscuits and gravy in bed, I recommend trying this position first. Beware, though, that you are still susceptible to hiccups due to the strange angle in which your throat is placed during swallowing. Just something to think about.
The second position is kind of on one's side, wherein one uses ones forearm on the bed to prop oneself up enough to shovel in the goodness. This position seems fairly innocent in the moment, but remember: biscuits and gravy is a heavy meal, my friends. Eat too much of it in this position and you risk filling only one side of your stomach, thereby leaving you with a strange-looking bulge on one side for the remainder of the day. If you opt for this position, occasional rotation between your left and right sides is key.
Finally, for those who are willing to risk everything, there is a third and final way to attempt to enjoy biscuits and gravy in bed. In this scenario, you will be laying down on the bed, frontside down. This will leave you craning you neck and upper back to get in a position to swallow your yums. For snakes, this position is ideal. They can disconnect their jaws and swallow enormous meals with ease. We are not snakes, however. For humans, this position carries with it many risks. First, you will likely look dumb if anyone else is around. I suppose, though, that if they're doing the same thing as you, you probably needn't worry about it. Second, the biscuits will often get stuck in the trachea in this position. It won't cause you to choke, but rather you will end up with nothing but gravy in your stomach, which will cause an undesired sloshing sound as you walk about later. Finally, there is the sausage to worry about. In this position, the bits of sausage that are mixed with the gravy will create a trail of crumbs, if you will, from your mouth straight into your stomach. If you happen to be in certain parts of the world while trying this position, you run the risk of having one of many sausage-loving bird species fly directly into your mouth. This tends to happen most often in Vienna, Poland, parts of Germany, and San Francisco. Know the risks going in, and just make good decisions. That's all any of us can do.
If you would rather eat your biscuits and gravy in a more conventional way, but still at an unconventional place, check out this episode of The Hungry Cowboy. Today I'm visiting 'Biscuits & Groovy' in North Austin, a cool place that has found some fun and unusual ways to serve up this southern culinary staple. Enjoy...and be careful!